This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
