i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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