its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It's official drugs can't kill me
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Thank you for not boning my boss.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
