GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize