They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I look better un-naked...
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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