Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize