By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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