It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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