3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
