Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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