he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i dont even know how to be here
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
