You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
