At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
