The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
