You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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