The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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