So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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