Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
bring money and cleavage
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
