So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I have already put on my inside pants.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
