I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize