I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
