He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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