honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
