when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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