One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
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