I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
