whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
