Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
