I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize