is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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