I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
