Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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