Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
