i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
