you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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