He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Randomize
