I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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