So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
