I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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