Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
