Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Redeem this text for a blowjob
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
you had me at cake vodka
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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