The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize