i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
