I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Why did my mother make you get naked?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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