its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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