Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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