She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
