toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
