i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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