Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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