Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
