we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
