Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
You can't motorboat a personality
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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