I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
