He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
