no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize