We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
