She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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