you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
