Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
How does one acquire holy water?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
