i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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