I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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