You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
