I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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