I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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