that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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