i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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