Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
