The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
