I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
