she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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