I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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