I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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