At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I need moral support for this bender
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
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